It’s not the heart-wrenching tragedy you might expect. No, this isn’t a story of some sudden, dramatic loss. But on Monday, my rabbit passed away.

He was an old man, and I knew death was coming. He was the second-to-last of a clan of twelve. I was twelve when I finally convinced my parents to let me have a rabbit. It started with a Craigslist ad, a friend’s “girl rabbit” to pet-sit (which led to five more), and a rescue mission for abandoned bunnies in a park (another five). Suddenly, I had my rabbit family.

Rabbits typically live ten to twelve years. And most of mine did. But each loss still hits me, and as the numbers dwindle, I realize how incredibly lucky I was. It also makes me think that there is no one true way to process grief.

Two years ago, I moved for college, away from my pets. Being separated from my family and animals is hard. The distance makes the losses feel heavier. I miss being there, sharing those moments with my family.

My rabbits have taught me a lot about death. Not that I’m an expert, but raising them from birth and dealing with unexpected losses showed me how precious life is and that lessons are everywhere.

At thirteen, when baby bunnies weren’t eating, my brother and I bought kitten formula from a liquor store and nursed them back to health. We buried the ones we couldn’t save.

When a four-year-old rabbit needed expensive surgery, I maxed out my first credit card and gave him fluids and medication every two hours. It was just months after I turned 18. He recovered, then died two weeks later from a genetic disease.

I learned to manage debt and be resourceful to afford food, toys, enclosures, and vet visits.

These rabbits taught me so much, preparing me for life’s hard knocks. They prepared me to support my younger sister during my parents’ drawn-out, eight-year divorce, a battle fueled by my mother’s greed and addiction. They prepared me for my father’s Huntington’s disease diagnosis.

I could go on about how these rabbits shaped me, but I want to share the tools I’ve found for dealing with grief.

Grief is inevitable. You feel it coming. For me, coping means stepping back, researching, and accepting. Journaling helps, writing down the possibilities and the realities of death. When the time comes, allow yourself the space to feel.

Life’s obligations can feel overwhelming, like you have no choice but to push through. But that’s a lie. I’ve been in debt, worked multiple jobs, and dealt with unstable housing. What I’ve learned is that talking about your struggles brings help and understanding. Accepting you are not in control and need others makes all the difference. At the end of the day, you can’t perform well if you’re not mentally stable.

Set a realistic timeline for moving forward after a loss. Acceptance helps me estimate how a death will affect me. This timeline is flexible, changing with your emotions.

These tips have helped me understand and accept grief. Remember, grief is not one-size-fits-all. But life has taught me everything happens for a reason.

Life throws challenges at you. Don’t let them dictate your emotions. Find the positives, even if it takes time. Accepting this truth makes life easier.

Now, I’d like to hear from you:

• What losses have been difficult for you?
• What helps you process grief?
• How do you give yourself grace?